Going Home from a Brothel

I haven’t posted on here in over a month, so what the heck, I’ll post as I’m waiting for dinner at the brothel. Fortunately, the cook here tonight is very vegan friendly. There’s a sex worker here who is a vegetarian and another sex worker who doesn’t eat pork or red meat, but I’ve never met any vegan sex workers at brothels I know of in the 10 plus years I’ve been in the biz.

Though there’s stuff I like about working at a brothel, I’ve been getting bored and depressed this stay because it has been so slow for me, and some other women have told me it’s slower than usual for them. I began working in the legal Nevada brothel system over 10 years ago, and this is my slowest two week trip ever.  I made less this past week than I often make in a day. Yet, it could be worse. I at least made enough to cover my room rent and weekly STI testing even after the 50/50 split of what I make with the brothel.  On another positive note, the the customers who I spent time with seemed very satisfied, which makes me feel good.  I pride myself in providing relaxing, pleasurable, enjoyable experiences.

There are ways to deal with boredom here, like coming onto this blog and posting. Since I can do this, I obviously have Internet access. There’s also a small exercise room here which I have been using, and a couple of the sex workers have become workout buddies. I’ve also been faithfully doing my yoga DVD in my room. There have been some visitors coming in, but just more sex workers than we have the business for. I’m not giving up, as there are so many ebbs and flows in this business. I’ve also had very busy trips to brothels, so it isn’t always like this.  This is my last night here during this stay, after being here for two weeks.  Well, the dinner bell just rang, so bye-bye for now.  The cook is making vegan chili.  Yummy!

International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers: Dec. 17

This annual event is coming up again, with activities in various parts of the U.S. along with Capetown, South Africa; London, England; Montreal, Quebec Canada; and Phnom Penh, Cambodia: http://www.facebook.com/#!/aphunter/posts/10150586436448852 . The purpose is to support the safey and well-being of sex workers, and promote anti-violence policies, attitudes, and practices as well as build community, remember sex workers whose lives have been lost due to hatred and violence, express our voices, and listen.
Here’s a link to the redesigned and updated Dec. 17 website: http://www.swopusa.org/dec17/ . Please keep checking it, as there will likely be more updates and information added.

Blood Running Down My Legs

As International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers approaches on Dec. 17, I’ve been thinking about my experiences with violence in sex work, and one really stands out. I was working as a private exotic dancer and the woman who ran an agency I worked for called me and asked if I would dance for a group of young guys. She said another dancer had entertained them before and described than as playful, harmless guys. Of course, I had no way of knowing whether that was accurate, but I still decided to accept the gig.

When I arrived I saw that she was right about them being young. I was 22 at the time, and they were close to my age.  However, that was the only way her description was accurate. They were anything but harmless. They were agressive, forceful, and doing things to me that I didn’t consent to or give them permission to do. Though I was initially under the impression I would be dancing, it was clear once I turned on the music and started dancing that this wasn’t what they were looking for.

Without getting into all the graphic details of what they did to me, I noticed blood streaming down my legs, and I wasn’t having my period. I was bleeding so heavily that it got onto the clothing of a couple of the guys, but they showed no concern for me, acting like the problem was with me, with somebody mentioning that because of me, these guys would have dry cleaning bills. Nevermind that their agressiveness and forcefulness which I didn’t consent to is what caused me to bleed.

I could discuss other negative experiences in sex work, but I don’t want to. Instead, I want to and need to focus on the positive, which doesn’t mean ignoring the negative. I just so often feel like in this society, that’s all I’m allowed to address. When I express positive attitudes about my work, I’ve experienced being treated like I have a false consciousness, like I’m too stupid and naive to know how bad sex work is, or like I’m promoting a romatacized image of sex work.  Being treated in these ways is every bit, if not more, traumatizing and distressing than the physical experience I described above. The bleeding has gone away, yet the distress of people imposing their negative energy onto me and treating me badly for expressing perspectives about my work that are different from their notions of sex work elicit distress that hasn’t gone away. When people act so sympathatic when we experience violence in sex work or other bad circumstances, and then act apathetic or treat us badly when we express positive attitudes toward our work, that’s not the kind of sympathy I need or want.

What keeps me alive and going is my positive energy, and that’s what gives me the strength to challenge the violence, abuses, and hatred against sex workers. Despite the negatives, I feel privileged to have many positive experiences in my work, but no more so than people in other occupations who find their work important and meaningful. Thus, before you blow off my positive attitudes as coming from an overly privileged perspective, think about whether you assume the same about workers in more “socially accepted” occupations who express positive attitudes about their work.  I’m not telling you to assume this, but just some “food for thought”.    I hope that somebody, safety in the sex industry and treating sex workers with dignity as human beings making a living will be recognized as a rights, not just privileges.

Occupy Student Loan Debt Campaign

You’ve likely heard of the Occupy Wall Street activities happening across the U.S., protesting how the wealthiest 1 percent have so much control over our society while the masses (the remaining 99 percent) are being screwed. Occupy Wall Street protests how politicans are representing big business and not the interests of the masses, and putting corporations ahead of people.

For example, major corporations were financially bailed out by the government, while citizens struggling just to get by everyday aren’t being bailed out. I attended an Occupy protest and a sign somebody was holding up makes this point. It said something like, “whose gonna bail me out if I fuck up”.

I found out about another related campaign called Occupy Student loan debt and am very drawn to it ( http://www.occupystudentdebtcampaign.org/ ). I’ve been treated like I need to go to college to have any self-worth or gain intelligence since I supposedly “can’t” gain any as a sex worker. Yet, college put me into debt, not sex work. It finally dawned on me, why am I going into debt studying to do something else when sex work suits me well, and is something I learn on the job. Also, if you encounter financial troubles and need to declare bankruptcy, that won’t erase student loan debt. 

Here’s a possible solution: Stop incarcerating sex workers and non-abusive clients, and redirect those funds toward providing universal higher education, so nobody has to go into debt persuing a higher education. Such funds being used to incarcerate sex workers and non-abusive clients could also be redirected toward other important causes, such as stopping human trafficking, providing universal health care; and more.

Happy Thanksliving!

Thanksliving is a vegan alternative to Thanksgiving. In case you’re wondering what vegans eat on Thanksliving, I went to a Thanksliving event a couple of years ago and there was an amazing variety of food, including Tofurky (tofu turkey), stuffing, cranberry sauce, potatoes, bread, soup, and pies…and this is just the stuff I remember. Thus, much the same stuff as at non-vegan Thanksgiving events, but just in a vegan form. Here are a variety of vegan Thanksliving recipes: http://vegweb.com/holiday/ .  Even if you aren’t into cooking and baking, I still suggest checking it out so you can learn about such a variety of vegan items. I’m hosting a Thanksliving event this year, and am really looking forward to it!

Dr. Oz’s Segment on Child Sex Trafficking

I don’t watch much TV, but one of the shows I sometimes watch is the Dr. Oz show due to my interest in health, nutrition, and fitness. Today, a segment about sex trafficking aired. It was a preview of an investigative report by Lisa Ling that will air on Oprah Winfrey’s channel, called the O Network. Ling was among the guests, as were two sex trafficking survivors, the mother of a sex trafficking survivor, and the head of the FBI’s Innocence Lost project.

I appreciated Ling and Dr. Oz both distinguishing between prostitutes and sex slaves, thus challenging the conflation of all prostitution with slavery. Prositutes get paid for sexual services, but sex slaves don’t. Ling also distinguished between sex slavery and consensual prostitution, saying that being a sex slave is different from being a prostitute because sexual slavery isn’t a choice.

Something else that really stood out to me was how one of the trafficking survivors named Holly Austin Smith said that she didn’t think she’d be able to get away from her trafficker if she wasn’t arrested. Here’s a link to her website: www.HollyAustinSmith.com  .  Did anybody reach out to Holly without arresting her?  Was there anywhere she could go besides jail?   It disgusts me so much that we live in a society where any trafficking victim needs to be arrested to get away from the traffickers and indicates a lack of outreach, accessible safe houses, and other services for trafficked people. This tells me that resources need to be redirected, with the funds used to arrest sex workers and trafficking victims being reallocated to outreach and safe houses. Arresting trafficking victims is treating them like criminals, so victims need other alternatives besides arrests. Ling acknowledged that child sex trafficking victims are being treated like criminals.

This is one of the reasons why advocating for the decriminalization of prostitution is part of the efforts to stop sex trafficking. This way, resources being wasted on arresting sex workers, non-abusive clients, and trafficked people can be put towards providing outreach, safe houses, and efforts to make trafficking less likely to happen in the first place. An anti-trafficking activist mentioned how there was a real scarcity of safe houses and how it was difficult to find funding for these, so it disgusts me that while people who have a genuine interest in assisting trafficked people are having trouble getting funding, so much is being wasted on making arrests against sex workers, clients (just for being clients even if they aren’t abusive), and trafficked people.

The FBI’s Innocence Lost project runs Operation Cross County, in which the federal government funds local law enforcement agencies and the FBI to set up sting operations in the name of stopping child sex trafficking. Yet, if that’s what these sting operations are mainly about, then why are adult sex workers being incarcerated under these sting operations.

I read an article in the Boston Globe about two sex workers who were arrested by 17 FBI agents in a sting operation at the Mariott though Operation Cross County. I have no idea why it takes 17 FBI agents to arrest two sex workers nor do I get what this has to do with stopping child sex trafficking. I read about how the sex workers were kicking and screaming as they were being arrested, and a hotel guest who witnessed this complained to management. I was traumatized just reading about this, so I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for the sex workers who experienced it. Here’s a link to the article: http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/02/21/5_arrested_in_us_sting_at_marriott/ .

Arresting sex workers for prostitution isn’t simply a necessary evil in efforts to stop sex trafficking. It’s a major human rights abuse that must end. It’s a horrible violation of our right to our bodies that anybody is being arrested for engaging in consensual sexual behaviors, and if they’re not consenting, then why are they being arrested and treated like criminals. I don’t agree with criminalizing children for prostitution on either. On the one hand, they’re widely perceived as victims, but on the other hand, they’re being arrested like criminals or suspected criminals under anti-prostitution laws. This must change. If prostitution were decriminalized, then these children would no longer be criminalized for prostitution. However, it would still be illegal for adults to have sex with children in prostitution under laws prohibiting sex with underage people.

Not surprisingly, the director of the Innocence Lost project mentioned nothing about how sex workers are being arrested under this program.

Did anybody see this segment of the Dr. Oz show about child sex trafficking?  If so, what did you think?

Protest Against Backpage: Village Voice’s Adult Services Section

Anti-sex work folks will be protesting outside of The Village Voice New York City office to express opposition to Backpage, a section of The Village Voice where people can advertise erotic services. They’re arguing that Backpage promotes human trafficking: http://www.sacbee.com/2011/11/10/4046251/leading-human-rights-groups-to.html .

Broader socioeconomic and political policies and practices are what promote human trafficking, not Backpage. Like with the shutdown of the Craig’s List Adult Services section, shutting down Backpage won’t stop traffickers, but they’ll just send people out onto the streets, where it’s harder to stop trafficking. At least with Craig’s List and Backpage, there’s a “paper trail” as a starting point to investigate allegations of traffickers advertising on those sites, but on the streets, there’s no “paper trail”.

The main people who would be harmed if Backpage shuts down its adult serivces section aren’t traffickers, but independent escorts who use Backpage to help them stay independent and make a living. Jill Brenneman, a trafficking survivor, spoke out against the harms of closing down Craig’s List’s Adult Services section. She was a sex trafficking victim before Craig’s List existed, and her trafficker sent her out onto the streets. She said her trafficker would have laughed at anybody who thinks closing down these online sex worker advertsing sites would stop him. The same can be applied to Backpage. Here’s what Jill said: http://deepthroated.wordpress.com/2010/09/07/traffickers-remain-in-business/ . It’s very powerful.

Rape Isn’t Just Part of the Job Description

The conflation all prostitution with rape and the attitude that prostitutes can’t be raped may seem like opposite positions of the surface, but they’re really both harmful positions. Both positions deny sex workers agency over our own bodies, and disrespect our right to set our boundaries.

To say that all prostitution is rape and to say that prostitutes can’t be raped treat rape like it’s just part of the job description. Saying that a prostitute can’t be raped is making the claim that rape is such an inherent part of the job that  a prostitute can’t say no, which is the same as saying all prostitution is rape.

Both positions are extremely dangerous, as they trivialize and water down the seriousness of rape. If we accept these positions, then what do we do when a prostitute actually is raped…just blow if off as part of the job? With such attitudes in existence, it’s not surprising that violence against sex workers so often isn’t taken seriously, with reactions like “what did you expect”.  These attitudes also encourage rape because they could cause some people to think it’s just normal to rape prostitutes and perceive nothing wrong with this. 

 Rape against prostitutes needs to be taken seriously, and recognized as rape, not just a necessary danger that’s bound to happen in prostitution. Hopefully someday, rape will no longer exist inside or outside of prostitution.  An important step to achieving this is for us all as a society to take rape seriously. Treating rape like it’s an inherent part of prostitution does nothing to prevent rape or help people who are raped.

Sex Work and Job Satisfaction

 Regardless of whether we love, despise, or have mixed feelings about being sex workers, we deserve human rights, such as the right to make a living without being persecuted or subject to violence for being sex workers; the right to exit sex work without being discriminated against at other jobs because we were sex workers; the right to health care; and the right to working conditions as safe and sanitary as possible. Somebody who deplores being a sex worker should have as much right to all of the above as somebody who loves being a sex worker.

Thus, if this were simply a question of macro level sociopolitical and legal issues, then the blog entry would end here.  However, politics isn’t all that matters. Sex workers have feelings, so our personal feelings also matter. Thus, it really bothers me when people dismiss the feelings of sex workers who have positive attitudes about our work on the grounds that we have a false consciousness or that we’re trying to promote an overly romanticized image of the industry.

To say that everybody enjoys being a sex worker or that sex work is wonderful for everybody would be promoting a romantacized image of the industry. However, for us to assert our right to define for ourselves how we feel about our work in no way, shape, or form promotes an overly romanticized image of the industry and anybody who says it does is attempting to shut up sex workers who they disagree with and prevent us (even if just verbally) from being able to speak for ourselves.

Both the micro level (our personal feelings) and the macro level (societal issues and factors) matter here.

What Are You Doing to Get People Out of Prostitution

A staunch anti-sex work activist asked sex worker advocates about what we’re doing to get people out of prostitution. Well, this would actually be a fair question if we weren’t so busy having to peacefully fight for our own rights. Before asking us this, perhaps she should ask herself what she’s doing to stop the incarceration and major human rights abuses against sex workers under the anti-prostitution laws that are “supposed” to be about stopping human trafficking:  http://blip.tv/sexworkerspresent/anti-trafficking-cambodia-the-reality-full-version-977233.   Since when does persecuting and abusing sex workers stop human trafficking.   She also needs to ask herself about what she’s doing to stop violence against sex workers beyond promoting anti-prositution laws that encourage this; and what she’s doing to promote the well-being and agency of sex workers while we’re sex workers.

Nonetheless, I’ll respond to the question anyway. Criminalizing and stigmatizing prostitution creates obstacles to people looking to exit the industry and people who are looking for jobs in addition to prostitution, as various employers do criminal background checks, and applicants almost always need to list past employment (such as the past 3 jobs, etc.) on job applications. Similiar things could be said about resumes. If prostitution weren’t criminalized or stigmatized,  this would be no problem, as sex workers would be able to include this information without fear of being discriminated against for being sex workers or incriminating oneself. Thus, one thing we’re doing to help people exit prostitution is advocating for the decriminalization and destigmatization of prostituiton.

In cases where people have trouble exiting prostitution due to lack of other viable job opportunities, prostitution isn’t the core issue, but lack of viable job opportunities is.  Criminalizing prostitution or pressuring sex workers to leave the trade doesn’t just magically give these workers other job opportunities. 

The St. James Infirmary, a sex worker led health clinic in San Francisco, also employs current and former sex workers, and provides these workers with opportunities to develop different types of job skills, in terms of providing health care, health education, outreach, planning events, public relations, etc. Sex worker advocates in India provided a way for sex workers looking to exit or in need of extra income can make hand-made sanitary napkins for. Also, a sex worker advocate of Cambodian descent from San Francisco, created a socially concious design company that employed Cambodian sex workers, where they can make clothing and handbags for livable wages.

Also, another way we’re helping people exit prostitution who wish to is by promoting policies that increase the likelihood of people actually living long enough to exit the industry. Each year on Dec. 17 is International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. As part of this event, we read and remember names of sex workers killed over the past year and where they were killed if this information is known. Year after year, the vast majority of people on the lists were killed under criminalized systems of prostitution. It was in this context that the largest known serial killing spree in U.S. history occured, the Green River killings. Gary Ridgeway acknowledged killing 48 people in a two year killing spree in Seattle that lasted from 1982-1984, targeting street-based sex workers. He was likely connected with more murders, as there are unsolved murders of sex workers in that area. However, he wasn’t charged with those murders until about two decades later in 2003. It’s hard to imagine how many sex workers were arrested for prostitution over that same time period.

In a study of street prostitution in neighboring British Columbia, John Lowman found that murder rates against these sex workers went up after British Columbia make it illegal to communicate for the purposes of prostitution. He attributed this to anti-prostitution laws and hatred against sex workers: http://veganvixen1.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/how-the-swedish-anti-prostitution-legislation-harms-sex-workers/ .