I’d Like a Glass of Ice Water Without Cheese Please…

As a vegan, it irks me so much when I go into restaurants and order something off of the menu thinking that it will be vegan, and then there’s cheese or whipped cream on it. When I read a menu that says spaghetti and marinara, I shold be able expect just that…speghetti and marinara, not spaghetti, marinara, plus cheese. Also, if I ask for black beans, I should be able to get just black beans, not black beans plus cheese that I didn’t ask for. I also learned to request no whipped cream when ordering my beloved virgin strawberry daquiris, or they may automatically put whipped cream on.

What’s so hard about asking us if we want cheese or whipped cream before putting it on. When I was at a lounge about a week ago, the waitress asked me if I wanted whipped cream on my daquiri rather than just automatically putting it on, and I appreciated receiving my daquiri with no whipped cream. It was still delicious.

If I had my way, only vegan cheese and whipped cream would exist, but as long as dairy is around,  please specify on the menu if an item comes with this so those of us who are vegan, lactose intolerant, or just don’t want dairy can request the item without the dairy products, or order something else.

Sure, we could just send the order back, but then the food may just get wasted.  Many people become vegans out of concern for animal rights and enivironmental issues, and wasting animal products does nothing to benefit these issues.

Part of the problem could be lack of familiarity with what veganism is, as many people seem to think it’s just vegetarianism. I attended the screening of an indy animal rights film called “Bold Native”  that took place in a mainstream restaurant (not entirely vegan or vegetarian). I noticed the pinto soup on the menu and asked the waitress if it was vegan. She assured me that it was and then asked if I wanted cheese on it. Thus, people may misassociate vegan with just no meat like dairy and egg eating vegetarians…instead of no animal products (including meat, dairy, eggs, etc.). Here’s an entry I previously wrote defining the terms: http://veganvixen1.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/vegetarian-and-vegan-terminology/ .

Fortunately, there are vegan friendly restaurants where we can order everything (or almost everything) in a vegan form, and some restaurants that are entirely vegan.

Sex Work is Real Work!

Various anti-sex work feminists have expressed opposition to the word-sex work-on the grounds that it isn’t a job like any other. Well, of course not. No two jobs are totally identical, so this doesn’t justify otherizing sex work.

They argue that sex work isn’t just like any other job because it’s inherently patriarchal, a claim I disagree with. Though I’ve experienced patriarchy in sex work and acknowledge it exists, this isn’t because sex work is inherently patriarchal. Rather, it becomes patriarchal when it exists in a patriarchal society, like various industries do. Thus, recognizing that societal patriarchy permeates into an industry or trade doesn’t mean the industry or trade is inherently patriarchal.

Yet, my concerns about this issue extend beyond just an intellectual feminist dispute. They’re very emotional, based on my personal experiences. The saying that “the personal is political” holds true here.

As a sex worker, I’ve been trivialized before, having people say things to me like,”get a real job”, as a way of degrading and insulting sex workers. When certain feminists say that sex work isn’t real work, it elicits the same distressing feelings.

Like I’ve mentioned in some previous posts, I have experience doing live webcam. Some of the companies have free chat, where people can chat with us for free and see video, as a way to try to entice them into paying for cam shows. However, some of the people expressed more interest in making demands and telling us what to do for free. I’ve responded to this by informing them that I’m a human being making a living and my bills and living expenses aren’t free…plus, I wasn’t telling them to do their jobs for free. Rather than taking my concerns seriously, some people responded by saying, “get a real job”.

These are reasons why it is so important for me to assert that sex work is real work. It’s a healthy way to cope with the negative emotions I expressed above and a way to rise above them.

Sex work is Real Work! has become a major slogan in sex workers’ justice advocacy globally. Hopefully, we can reach many people by asserting this, and get them thinking “they have a really great point,” and then spread the message along.

This could also shape public policies. For example, the U.S. government refuses to recognize prostitution as legitmate work, thus leading to very oppressive policies against sex workers in prostitution. Both the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act (TVPRA) and President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) include anti-prostitution oaths  that recipients of funding are required to sign, saying that they don’t support legal prostitution or accept it as a legitmate occupation.  A court ruled it unconstitutional to require U.S. recipients of funding under PEPFAR to sign the anti-prostitution oath, but this hasn’t yet been expanded to the TVPRA or international recipients of PEPFAR funding. The results of these anti-prostitution oaths have been tragic. Here’s what happened as a result of the PEPFAR anti-prostitution oath: http://blip.tv/sexworkerspresent/taking-the-pledge-185356 .

Here’s another online video, which documents how sex workers in Cambodia were affected by the anti-prostitution oath in the TVPRA. Please read the blurb below the video, as it provides an important overview of the issues addressed in the video: http://blip.tv/sexworkerspresent/anti-trafficking-cambodia-the-reality-full-version-977233  .

Also, this article features a photo of sex workers protesting the abuses adressed in the video above, displaying a sign saying: Sex Work is Work- Defend the Right to Livelihood: http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-06-04-622462536_x.htm .  They’re wearing t-shirts with the same powerful message.

On the contrary, governments in places where prostitution is decriminalized, such as New Zealand and New South Wales, Australia, do treat sex work like real work. Rather than placing prostitution under a criminal code, it’s regulated under occupational health and safety codes…thus recognizing it as an occupation. Further, unlike criminalized systems of prostitution, sex workers in decriminalized systems of prostitution are legally protected under at least minimal labor rights laws, like workers in other industries are.

Sex Worker Advocates as Abolitionists

As somebody who supports the abolition of slavery, I should have as much right to identify as an abolionist as anti-sex work people. Yet, I don’t feel like I have as much freedom to self-identify because the term abolition in contemporary times has become so heavily associated with being anti-sex work. It wasn’t this way in the 1700 and 1800′s, when the abolitionists were working to abolish legal slavery against Black people (not eradicate all sex work), but the anti-sex work folks have taken this term and reconceptualized it, so it’s hard to identify as an abolitionist unless we oppose all sex work.I would be very hesitant to go to a sex work event and identify as an abolitionist, out of fear that people would assume that I’m anti-sex work.

Thus, I encourage sex worker advocates to identify as abolitionists,  redefining the term and expressing how being anti-slavery doesn’t have to mean being anti-sex work. That would be so powerful. We really need to redefine how the rhetoric is being used, rather than just letting the anti-sex work people have control over it to promote very oppressive policies and attitudes against sex workers. I see this is necessary in order to make progress.

Also, some vegans  identify as abolitionists since we support the abolition of animal cruelty and the human killings of animals for meat, dairy, eggs, etc. We  also typically seek to abolish killing animals for fur or leather.  I say “typically” because I knew a vegan who said she doesn’t eat or drink animal products, but she  wears leather, which I don’t get.

How Do I Stop Menstrual Cramps?

I’ve been on birth control for almost a year as a way to stop menstrual cramps. The first pill I took didn’t really stop cramps, but just threw off my menstrual cycle. The cramps were at least as bad, and started before the bleeding.
Then, I’ve been on another birth control pill for about 9 months, it used to work great, maybe too great–some months I wouldn’t even get my period. I wasn’t trying to stop my period, just the cramps.
However, that pill stopped working. A couple of weeks ago, I started getting cramps with a brown discharge that lasted about a week. That was followed by heavier bleeding like an actual menstrual period, and the cramps continued. Then, the bleeding stopped, only to come back a few days later. My period used to come once a month, not leave and come back after a few days.
Thus, since the pills medical professionals prescribed me were problematic, I’ve been doing my own research. Various people are saying that bananas are helpful due to the potassium and Vitimin K. I love bananas (as you can probably guess by the image at the top of my blog), but I’ve never thought to use them for menstrual pain relief before. However, I’ll start eating bananas each day and see if this helps.
I also read that Alive helps because it contains naproxin. Ibuprofin (such a Motrin ID) can also help, but it also causes drowsiness and I’ve been advised against taking it due to really strong long term side effects. I also find it only works if I take it in high dosage, which makes the side effects worse. However, many medications could have side effects, so I haven’t ruled out  ibuprofin.
I’ve also been reading about various herbal remedies and accupuncture.
I’ve tried the heat packs and those didn’t work for me, but I read that we should use them when we’re sleeping over night, which I didn’t do before.  I just used them when I was awake. Thus, I could try using them while I’m sleeping.
I also read about some specfic birth control pills that are supposed to stop cramping, which weren’t the pills I was prescribed. That’s discouraging since I told the medical professionals I wanted the pills specifically to stop menstrual cramps.
I also exercise, which helps. I usually do an hour long exercise class a day or hike for at least an hour. However, as much as I love exercise, I can’t do it all day long. I have other stuff to do, like blogging here.
I’d really appreciate any suggestions anybody could provide.

Perhaps, Ashton Kutcher Isn’t So Bad Afterall

Sex worker advocates have been very critical of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s organization called DNA for conflating almost all prostitution with trafficking and slavery, while ignoring how such attitudes harm sex workers and have resulted in anti-prostitution laws that are more focused on harming sex workers than stopping trafficking.

For example, they claim that only a small percentage of people working as prostitutes choose this work and most are trafficking victims, without providing any evidence to back up this claim. The website also repeatedly provides statistics without naming the sources. Here’s a link: http://demiandashton.org/ .

Despite my concerns stated above, I appreciate how Ashton challenged the conflation of all sex work with trafficking while on the David Letterman show, saying that strippers and porn performers aren’t trafficking victims.  I’m not a mind reader, but I’m guessing he meant that not every porn performer or exotic dancer is a trafficking victim or that the prevalency of this is low, considering that none of us can know for sure that nobody is ever trafficked in these industries or many others.  

Though I appreciated him asserting this, I wish he would have also mentioned how not all prostitutes are trafficking victims. Here’s a link to the video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inQ3GS6dA4Y .

Two Goddess Temples Raided in Arizona

Law enforcement raided two Goddess temples in Arizona, one in Phoenix and one in Sedona. Arrests were made on prostitution charges.  More arrests may be coming: http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/jackalope/2011/09/police_reveal_some_details_of.php People from the Goddess temples argue that this violates their freedom of religion. Though I’m not a lawyer, I think they have a strong case. My understanding is that law enforcement can’t violate anybody’s rights to freedom of religion as long as the individual or group isn’t violating anybody else’s rights in the name of religion. I don’t see how the Goddess temple is violating anybody else’s rights.

I’ve thought that anti-prostitution laws were unconstitutional for a long time, and this just adds to that. In the 2003 Supreme Court ruling of Lawrence vs. Texas, the Court ruled that it’s unconstitutional to criminalize adults for engaging in private consensual adult sexual behavior. Though the case was brought by two gay men in an intimate relationship rather than by sex workers, it still needs to apply to sex workers.

Smile and Say Cheese–Vegan Style

Some dairy eating vegetarians have told me that they have trouble going vegan because they don’t want to give up cheese. I can relate to this, having been a major cheese eater (especially melted cheese) when I was a dairy eating vegetarian, and I certainly did not want  to give it up.

Nonetheless, I still became vegan and gave up cheese at first because I had trouble finding vegan cheeses that agreed with my taste buds, and some tasted downright terrible.  Then, when I was at a vegan picnic, somebody told me about “Follow Your Heart” and “Daiya” vegan cheeses, saying that they taste really good and melt like dairy cheese. 

She was right and I’m thrilled that I can now have cheese again as a vegan…just when I thought I’d never find a vegan cheese I like.   My favorite vegan cheese is the mozarella.  It’s unbelievably delicious on vegan pizzas!  Like many vegans, I believe very strongly that dairy milk needs to be for calves, not humans.  Yet, another major reason to eat vegan cheese rather than dairy cheese is because the vegan cheese lacks cholesterol, so it won’t clog up the arteries as much. 

Though Follow Your Heart and Daiya cheeses are vegan, read the labels when buying other brands to amke sure they’re vegan (unless you know they’re vegan).  I noticed that some non-dairy cheeses still contain milk derivatives on the label.  I saw an almond cheese and thought, “Yay, here’s another cheese I can eat!”  Then, when I read the label, I say that it contained a milk derivative. 

Does anybody know of any other delicious vegan cheeses?

Slut Walk Las Vegas Sept. 10, 2011

Slut Walk events have been occuring in various cities, expressing the message that nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted or raped no matter how sexual we are.  In other words, nobody is ‘asking for it’.   I also love how Slut Walk focuses on redefining the term “slut” positively.

The next Slut Walk event I know of is happening in Las Vegas!  It will begin on Sept. 10 at 7:30 p.m. at the Erotic Heritage Museum.  Here’s a link to the Slut Walk Las Vegas Facebook page for more info.:  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002852577056&sk=info#!/event.php?eid=216034345112040 .

Cloth Sanitary Napkins Rock!

The first time I attended the “Vagina Monologues”, I noticed a flier advertising “Luna Pads”. Being curious, I picked it up and read about them, and this was how I first learned about cloth sanitary napkins. I’ve heard of cloth diapers before, but not cloth maxi pads.
So, I went to Luna Pad’s website plus Googled in “Cloth Sanitary Napkins” or “Cloth Maxi Pads” for more information and to learn about what’s out there. I ordered some from a woman who makes them in a pack of five.
I’ve had them for about two years and these cloth sanitary napkins could be among the best inventions ever! They’re very soft and comfy, and have really cool designs. They’re also very eco-conscious, as I just wash them when I would do my laundry anyway and don’t have to throw them away after each use like with disposable maxi pads. There are flaps that I snap together and they stay in place except with thongs, but I don’t recommend thongs with any maxi pad.
Another really good device to use for menstruation are sponges, such as sea sponges, cosmetic sponges, or household sponges. However, if they’re shoved too deep up there, it could take a while to get them out, so I recommend making them big enough so you can reach them and pull them out.  I learned about this from another sex worker at a legal Nevada brothel. (Sex work is such an education in various ways.) They absorb really well and I can also wash and resuse these when I do my regular laundry. They come out of the laundry like new, without any stain at all.